I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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