the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
