mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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