just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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