just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
