Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
