I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
