just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
soo... how was my night?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.