R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
