Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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