Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
