I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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