**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize