i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
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i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
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I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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