just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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