I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
