My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
