are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
I love us.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila