I wanna bring you to show and tell
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.