I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.