She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
