shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
