Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
