kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
