he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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