He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
