I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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