I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
