Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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