sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
where does the pee come out of this thing
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
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I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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