all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
