Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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