Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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