youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize