This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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