Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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