I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
