ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
