fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Holy sore nipples Batman
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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