Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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