Duck Duck Cougar?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
