I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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