he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
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Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
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She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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