"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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