why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Randomize
