can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
