thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
