Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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