i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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