No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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