ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
