Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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