Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
