3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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