I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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