life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
