It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I love you. Go after that dick
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
