Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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