I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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