Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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