I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
