....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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