your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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